|
Anne-Marie Hislop's Blog
loans, money, family, friends
Saturday March 28, 2009
Posted by: Anne-Marie Hislop at 10:31AM CST on March 28, 2009
There is an interesting article in today's NYTimes about the delicate business of helping family or friends who are in financial straights. One area of endless relationship problems is money. Any cruise of the many and varied 'judge' shows on TV gives ample warning about the pitfalls of lending money. What is intended as a loan is claimed to have been a gift by the receiver. Or, repayment is stopped when the relationship goes south. Or the recipient believes that if he or she looses his/her job that repayment obligation ceases. Gifts are easier on the relationship, but how does one approach a friend or relative who is perceived to be in trouble? Some behaviors might forever damage the relationship: if the giver takes an attitude of being 'owed' in some other ways, if the recipient is uncomfortable about a 'debt' of giving (even with a gift) that cannot be repaid, if the giver does not approve of how the money is used, if the recipient feels constrained about how the money is used and, therefore, controlled and is resentful. I had a friend one time who gave me an enormous (for me) gift when I had little and she had inherited what she called an 'obscene amount' from a grandparent. It did not seem to disrupt the relationship, but I did have some sense of a debt (non $) that I could not repay nonetheless. What do you think - would you lend or give money? If you lend money, what kind of parameters would you set for repayment? Have you been the recipient of a gift or loan? How did it affect the relationship? |
About This Blog
Rate this Blog:
  1 rating(s)
Categories
• dogs, fears
• friend • Flood, Oakville • aging parents • Rick Warren • Palin • Bush, crimes, Obama • Gitmo, values • Stimulus • abuse, dating • community • cats, vet bills • loans, money, family, friends • faith practice • Monsters • Susan Boyle, prejudice • torture, values • Memorial day • Sotomayor, judicial empathy • Obama in Cairo • Iran • young drivers • Michael Jackson • health care reform • culture-nastiness - faith • end of life care
Older Posts
Latest Entries
Loading...
Links
Loading...
 |
© 2008, The Quad-City Times, Davenport, IA | Terms of Service and Privacy Policy
Leave a Message
Leave a Comment
Request a Friend